Thursday, January 27, 2011

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide.




Clint took me to our senior prom, eight years ago. He brought an e.e. cummings book over to my house, and slipped inside the cover was a note that said, "Let's book it to prom."

I've been thinking about that poem today.

Last night was a scary night for us. Clint has been sick this week, and was sleeping on the couch downstairs because he's been coughing nonstop. Around 2am my phone started making noises I've never heard before; it sounded like morse code. It woke me up, so I went downstairs to check on Clint. Everything seemed fine, but just as I was starting to fall asleep again he started yelling my name. I got him what he needed (if you must know, it was a puke bowl) and sat down on the couch. A few minutes later, I heard the bowl drop.

I walked back into the room and he was keeled over, head resting on the counter it hit, eyes rolled back in his head, body shaking and sweating. He's fainted a couple times before, so at first I thought I could just help him gain consciousness quickly -- but this time was different. I held him and shook him and yelled his name for awhile with no response. He made a really weird choking noise and then went totally limp and lifeless. At that point I was basically in hysterics, thinking he was dead (yes I'm dramatic and yes I jump to conclusions, but can you blame me?). I was holding him and trying to reach for the phone to call 911 when he finally came to, really confused.

After a trip to the doctor, everything looks okay. He's feeling better now, and thinks it was no big deal. I'm still a little traumatized. A few hours after it happened, I couldn't stop crying. Thinking the person you love most in life is dead, even if just for a minute? That's a really big deal.

Pretty sure I am going to hug him tight all weekend.

63 comments:

  1. Yikes, that is really really scary. I'm so sorry you had to go through out. I'm glad he's ok.

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  2. So scary, Angela! So glad he's doing better today.

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  3. scary. glad you're both okay.

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  4. that's terrifying. so glad to hear he's okay. (and that was a really sweet way to ask to prom.)

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  5. I think I'll try that so I can get Mom to hold me tight all night long

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  6. Oh Angela! I'm a scaredy-cat (I like to call it hypervigilance)so that would absolutely throw me in a tail-spin of worry. So glad Clint is ok, but holey moley!

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  7. oh wow that is awful! i don't think you overreacted in the least. glad he's okay.

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  8. wo! i got the chills all over my body when i read this. so scary. i think i would have a heart attack and be of no help to marcus if he did something like that! so glad everything is okay, also your outfit is killer!

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  9. ang i would have totally freaked out too. that is crazy. glad clint is okay.

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  10. So scary! I'm glad he's doing better. I've been through this same experience...but with my 15 month old son (at the time). It was the scariest experience I've ever had...thinking I was losing something I love so dearly. He had a seizure...it sounds similar to your husband? Maybe he had a febrile seizure (brought on by a spike in fever?). Whatever it was, I pray it doesn't happen again because having been through it three times with my little Max, I wouldn't wish it on anyone :( xoxo

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  11. man! that's terrifying! (i would've FREAKED out too) i'm so glad to hear he's alright!

    oh, and what a sweet way to ask you prom. you guys were cool from the get go. beautiful photo and quote as well.

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  12. Angela, that is the scariest thing! I bet it felt like a dream (nightmare, I'm sure). I'm so glad that everything is okay. Thanks for the reminder to be thankful for our husbands and their health!

    I love that you two go way back to good old Mountain View Days. I hope that prom picture of you two is blown up and placed over your mantel.

    That is my favorite poem. I'm thinking I should put it on David's Valentine this year. Good idea?

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  13. First of all, this post made me cry. The thought of going through that with Michael breaks my heart. I don't think you were over dramatic, that is really scary.

    Secondly. I think you should share your love story. I had no idea you knew each other in HS and went to Prom. That is sweet.

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  14. I cried, too! Horrible.

    I sometimes imagine my children or my husband dying and it absolutely terrifies me. Even thinking about it now makes my heart hurt.

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  15. that brought tears to my eyes. i can't imagine how scary it would be to see your spouse in that situation. so glad he is okay now!

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  16. I can't even imagine the pain and worrying you went through. I am so sorry, and I am so glad to hear Clint is feeling better.

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  17. oh, Angela, that is so scary. Last year David got really sick like that. We were actually at the doctors office signing papers when it hit and he just looked glazed over, couldn't sign his name, couldn't walk unassisted. I had to run to the front desk for help. Only his lasted for weeks with multiple visits to the ER, Drs, specialists. They told him if he hadn't come in he would have died. So I feel for you, I am SO glad he's ok!

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  18. Oh my gosh, OF COURSE you cried! I was just about in hysterics picturing it! SO happy all is well and the two of you are home together.

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  19. yeah right, clint. you're really good at tricking me, but this was beyond your skills.

    thanks everyone - it's nice to feel a little validated for how scared i was.

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  20. the poem is lovely.

    seriously this story brought me to tears. if that was my husband i would be freaking out as well.

    kam did tell me you guys knew each other. were you in the same grade?

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  21. It's so good to remember and appreciate those that you love. p.s. I feel a connection to you because I am dating a Clint and everyone knows Clints are the best things [people] in the whole wide world.

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  22. what a scare! i'm so glad he is alright. and that you are alright too.

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  23. That is freaky stuff, I would have lost it for sure. I'm glad he is okay!

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  24. oh my gosh angela. I am so sorry...that would have been SO SCARY! i cannot imagine. Honestly, when things happen like that it makes you realize just how much you love them...the other night, I stupidly left Sage on the bathroom counter and ran down the hall to get her bath towel...I heard a THUMP and screaming. She had fallen off...I starting bawling...holding her and I thought "oh my gosh I am the worst mom ever!" we had to take her to the ER but everything is totally fine now...wow long story short it made me realize just how much I LOVE this little person of mine...I held her all night long...I didn't want to let her go. So have fun doing the same to Clint...:-) your a good wife!

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  25. Oh my goodness! Definitely hug him close this weekend. I'm so glad he's okay!

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  26. What a night!! I am glad everything is okay!!

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  27. Once Geoff choked for a couple seconds on a junior mint, I cried for an hour.

    That being said, I don't think you were dramatic. That is so scary, glad everything is ok!

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  28. Ahh, I'm so glad everything is okay. That must have been really terrifying for you. I would probably still be crying if it happened to me. I hope Clint gets much, much better.

    PS Clint's comment really cracked me up. He seems like such a sweetheart, even back in high school!

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  29. angela! this is so scary/frightening/horrifying! i'm so sorry it happened to you, and him. my goodness. it's my worst nightmare - something happening to reed, so i can't imagine how it must have felt! :(

    and i love that verse. what a cool way to ask you to prom! i was asked to a dance once by: getting an anonymous envelope through the mail at school and inside was a roll of film, and it said something like 'to find out who wants to take you, get this developed!' it was such a suspenseful day waiting to get that film developed. but i thought it was a pretty cute idea considering it was our sophomore year of high school! (though maybe it was his mom's idea? haha.)

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  30. you sweet girl. i am so sorry you both went through that. it makes my eyes well. so thankful clint is ok and that he has such a good nurse :)

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  31. This gave me the chills. I've had an experience like this, and it's very traumatizing. You are not overreacting in the least. I hope he's okay, and you're okay too.

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  32. So scary, I'm glad everything worked out! My Mom had a similar situation with my Dad when they had been married a couple of years and I hope we don't have the same.

    I would love for you to post your story of how you met sometime- that is one of my favorite e. e. cummings poems.

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  33. I got goose bumps reading the poem {e.e. is a fave} but then my goose bumps has goose bumps reading about Clint. I'm so glad that he's ok. A scary ordeal for sure, and you were not being dramatic. You were being a loving wife and a human being. I would have done the same thing, panic.

    thanks for always making my day!

    xo

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  34. How traumatic. I cried reading your story. Glad he's okay and that it's over. We'll keep Clint in our prayers.

    What a sweet, beautiful poem.

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  35. Wow. My emotions went from being so scared, then feeling so bad and then to laughing out loud. I read Clint's comment and it just made me laugh. But really though I think I would have done the same thing.

    I am so afraid of something like this happening (just randomly) and not knowing what to do, with being pregnant I have had the WEirDeSt dreams ever and had one similar to what happened to you. Grant just sort of started seizing and basically I made things worse because I didn't do the right thing fast enough. It was the worst. So I just downloaded a First Aid App on my phone and it tells you what to do for anything and everything and I really like it. It makes me feel a little bit better. I would have cried just like you. Ah anyway... I'm glad everything is okay. You two are so cute and perfect for each other.

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  36. This post brought tears to my eyes. I've had the feeling of thinking "this is it" however I was the Clint of the story. My husband being you wad traumatized for weeks... Depite his all-powerful maleness -ahem- he cried like a baby for hours after. Quite frankly, I never understood how much we could love eachother until the "experience".

    Let the tears out and then love like crazy

    Keighley

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  37. OMG that's terrifying to see!
    Hope you feel better now and your husband too, of course.

    Big hug from Holland

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  38. yes! hug him non stop. Just no kissing dont' want you to get that. Kellen did that years ago when we first got married. sounds exactly the same. He had an odd infection. still gives me chills.

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  39. I'm really sorry that happened to you, and him. I hope your weekend looks better than last night did. P.S. Your outfit is beautiful in the top picture. And P.S.S. I LOVE that poem. I sung a version of it put to music last year. So gorgeous.

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  40. Did he go somewhere on his mission that he could have gotten malaria? My brother got malaria, and it was just like that. And it resurfaced a year later while he was home.

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  41. Oh my goOdness Angela! That is so scary and better never happen to me! I would definitely lose it!!! You poor things :(

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  42. I'm so glad that he's alright but I totally understand what YOU went through. Two years ago, we went to see the Wrestler in the theater with some friends. We had just eaten dinner and had some drinks beforehand. We sat up in the top row and right after the super violent scene where he has a heart attack, my husband started convulsing and I watched his eyes roll back in his head and he was unconscious for a few seconds. He came back to it and didn't know what happened; I thought he had a seizure and freaked out and called 911. He checked out okay at the doctor and since then he's nearly fainted once more but boy was that traumatizing to me!

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  43. eeEEEK!! Glad he's okay, & good thing you were there for him!

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  44. How awful! Thank heavens all is well now. Hugs a plenty sounds like the perfect way to spend your weekend.

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  45. oh angela that is SO scary.

    on landons first solo flight he was two hours late and his phone went to vm. i cried most of the day.

    so i don't think your over dramatic AT ALL.

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  46. oh yeah! please post your story! i'd love to hear more about you and clint... i like when you post about you guys on the blog.

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  47. oh my gosh, 3rd comment, yeah.

    but when we took pictures and clint told me the song "black honda in my heart" was about you i thought it was the cutest thing ever.

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  48. Oh my gosh....soooo scary! I hope you guys will never have to go through that again. Good thing your phone woke you up in the first place. kind of crazy, huh?

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  49. I am thinking you were not being dramatic. I would have flipped a burger.

    Are you sure Clint didn't fake the whole thing?





    jk - I read his silly comment...you are totally validated.

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  50. When David gets sick, even the smallest of colds, he literally thinks he is going to die, therefore scaring me like crazy every time. And then I act the same when Emery gets sick- I always think the worst.
    I am so sorry you guys had to go through that. It sounds like you did everything a great wife should do. Glad he is better!

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  51. I'm so glad he is okay Angela, nothing is scarier. I hope you both continue to get well & feel better.

    Life is good, except when its not. But its better after having the not good moments.

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  52. I am so sorry you had to go through that! I would have freaked out. I'm so glad he's ok!

    ps- i like that ee cummings quote. that's my maiden name so i used to tell people we were related...;)

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  53. so terrible! what a relief you two are both doing better. i can't even imagine...
    on a happier note, i think the book and prom story might be the sweetest things i've ever heard.

    you both have keepers on your hands...

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  54. nice comment, dad. this brought back memories of the week that lucas kept passing out, then everything that followed [and it still makes me cry, four years later]. i'm glad things are okay, but i totally understand how you'd continue to feel shaken for A LONG TIME. get better, clint!

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  55. Oh Angela, i am so glad everything is ok! that is traumatizing! So so glad it was nothing serious.

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  56. That is sosososo scary! How traumatizing. I'm happy that everything seems to be ok.

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  57. so scary! our prayers are with you.

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  58. Amen, girl. I am SOOO glad he's okay. That is super scary! Love ya.

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  59. Oh wow Angela, that's terrifying! My heart just sank reading this but I am SO glad it was nothing, sad that you has to go through that situation though.
    I love this poem, it was on our wedding programs. :)

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  60. wow that does sound worthy of a major freak out! I'm so glad to hear he's okay!


    P.S. I posted (&linked) your poem over to my blog: http://lavisiondesdemiventana.blogspot.com/2011/02/if-you-even-still-read-this.html

    hope that's okay!

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  61. pretty sure there couldnt have been any cuter way to ask anyone to prom. ever. and ee cummings? love it.

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  62. holy crap. i just read the rest of this post. ummmm wow. im really sorry you had to go through that. im so glad he came to. love to you both!

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