(No idea what's going on in that photo of me, but it seems fitting. Also - will I ever stop wearing stripes?)
On the last day of January, about a month too late, some reflections that have been on my mind:
I turned 28 in December — a birthday and then right afterwards, a new year. To be honest last year was one of the hardest years I've had. I feel weird and slightly guilty admitting that, considering I had a baby and she's the best thing in the world. But even with that constant joy the reality is there were days (weeks, months) of tears, exhaustion, frustration, darkness. Lessons of patience and selflessness. Trying to balance my desire for creativity and adventure with the responsibility of being a parent. Fitting in work while paying adequate attention to my little family and home. Things not going as expected time after time. So many extremes, so many changes, so many struggles I never knew there would be. And while all of this sounds dramatic now, it was very real at the time. The ups and downs took their toll on me and I had been feeling the weight of it all.
And then January came. I was trying to determine my new focus or goals and nothing seemed to sit right. Suddenly one morning as I pulled open the curtains in our bedroom, it came with the sun pouring in. Light.
Light. My word for this year is a welcome contrast to what was. It has meaning on so many levels for me, and it's already made a difference.